Healing Through Presence: The Art of Processing Pain and Finding Balance

I’ve lived through countless stressful situations, so many that it’s hard to even comprehend them all. And, for the longest time, I handled them in ways that didn’t help my healing or soothe my nervous system—in fact, they did more harm than good.

My go-to “solutions” for a bad day used to be a glass of wine to “relax,” screaming out my frustrations in hopes someone would hear and fix my pain, or zoning out to Netflix just to avoid thinking. I’d even pretend everything was fine, believing that if I ignored the pain long enough, it would magically disappear.

But that was BULLSH*T. None of it actually helped. It only made things worse. By not acknowledging that I was hurting or mourning, and by forcing myself to smile through it because society says it’s not “okay” for a woman to express her pain—especially tears—I was only suppressing what needed to be felt.

I know so many of you, my fellow women, get this. We juggle feeling undervalued at work, overlooked by family, and drained by so-called friends, all while keeping up this facade of being “superwoman.” We’re asked to digest inhumane situations as if they were normal.

I learned that true healing comes from being fully present with my emotions, not running from them. It’s about regulating the nervous system and allowing myself to feel, process, and release what’s weighing me down. Instead of numbing the pain or pretending it’s not there, I began practicing ways to truly sit with it.

For me, this means daily breathwork—inhaling deeply, holding space for the tension in my body, and then exhaling all the emotions I’ve been bottling up. It’s simple, but it reminds me to release what no longer serves me. I also journal every day. Writing allows me to pour my thoughts out onto paper without judgment, helping me sort through what I feel and why.

One of the most grounding practices I’ve adopted is the daily cold shower. It might sound uncomfortable, but the shock of the cold brings me into the present moment, teaching my body how to handle stress and regulate emotions naturally. It’s my way of building resilience, mentally and physically.

And above all, I make time every day to love myself. Not the version of me that society wants me to be—but who I am, flaws and all. It means letting go of the need for approval from others and staying true to myself, no matter what opinions or external pressures are thrown my way.

This journey is about letting go of what’s not mine to carry and learning that my value isn’t tied to how others see me. It’s about embracing who I am, standing tall in my own truth, and showing up for myself, every single day.